Thursday, May 28, 2009

Two Boobs or Not Two Boobs...That is The Question


Last week I went to a breast augmentation consultation. Those who know me, may have known this fact...and know that "my girls do not run a cup'ith over". I am small breasted. And, as my Aunt Andrea put it once, "Honey, boobs are an item you don't want the passing grade on", i.e... an A or B cup.

I brought Tony, for the moral and literal "support". Spoke to my closest of friends who also gave me the 'ol ..."you look great the way you are, but if you want 'em, I understand" speeches. I do want em, though. I've wanted "my girls" to grow since puberty. The only time I ever filled a cup, was when I was either pregnant, breast feeding or yes...a little chubby. I lost nearly twenty pounds two years ago and the first five were my "boobages". I swore I would either: eat a Costco-sized bag of Resses' peanut butter cups and a soda to gain them back...or continue to lose weight. I chose the latter.

The consultation was the epitome of what you'd look for in a Doctor's office. The whole experience was a bit overwhelming; beyond perfect. The medical assistants were lovely, the Plastic Surgeon was the George Clooney/Mc Dreamy you only imagine on television. I felt so welcome and comfortable in the office. Ah, did I mention the bathroom? On a side note, the bathroom was decorated in marble and rather than a paper towel dispenser hanging on the wall, sitting on the marble counter was a silver bowl of hand rolled, white, fluffy washcloths. I felt like I was at the Ritz Carlton. So, what was the problem, you ask? My husband!

Tony, a man of sound mind sat quietly in the corner watching the consultation between the Doctor and myself. He asked a few pertinent questions, such as: "Will the valve be visible through the skin"... "how big should we go here?"... and, "how soon can we schedule the appointment?" With questions like this, I knew he was "on board".

The best part of the consult was the "boob fitting." I was asked to put on a sports bra and try on several different sizes, called CC's. I tried on four sizes before I found the right fit for me/380cc. Then, I took the sample breasts out and handed them back to the nurse. As I did this, Tony, ever so subtly, gave me his thumbs up...suggesting he really likes me... the way I am! It was at this moment, I remembered why I married him.

He doesn't want the boobs, despite a few of his friends "high fiving" him for my decision to augment. He loves me for who I am, and really I should love myself for who I am. That's it. I don't have a deformity, requiring surgery. My small boobs aren't lopsided. They don't droop to my knees. I don't have enough to droop. I only breast fed one kid.

So, it took this appointment to reach my epiphany. At this point, I am saying no to a pair of personal floatation devices. I may want them, later. But for now...I am more content. I am also a role model for my puberty-reaching daughter as well. I want her to feel okay with her body. I am also without material, I was writing the journey, as a book. It would have been a good topic too!

So, as Shakespeare wrote: "To be, or not to be: that is the question: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer..." I suffer not...knowing my husband is happy; just the way he married me.

I would love to hear your comments. This topic was a brave disclosure for me, so be kind! :)

Some Coffee Talk...

I recently got my drink on...coffee that is. Wouldn't touch the stuff 'til I turned fort...oh, never mind. I like the fancy coffees though. Whipped cream, a swirl of chocolate, chocolate shavings, caramel...you get the picture! Nothing like starting your day with a large (venti) non-fat,white chocolate, iced latte to get things moving along. Some things your mother won't tell you, ahh, but I will. Like, the benefits of coffee when you need to get things moving...

My friend, Sarah admitted to her coffee addiction to me. Get this...she now takes to running each morning, yes... running to her new local coffee house, Saxby's. This coffee house serves special latte concoctions like: Almond Joy, Kit Kat and Snickerdoodle. Suddenly, you feel like a kid in a candy store. They basically market their coffee for adults who "miss" candy bars. And, I think the candy bar would have less calories. Not that I count calories.

A double shot of addiction - chocolate and caffeine. Ahhh, I can feel the caffeine "high", and the shakes, too.

As I said, this friend runs to Saxby's daily, with her debit card and "frequent drinker" card (hidden in her sock), drinks her "candy bar coffee" and then with a little more pep in her step...heads home. She can't return home with the evidence (you see, her twelve year old daughter likes a little "Saxby's fix" too) so she quickly drinks up. Then, and I kid you not...she confessed that she tosses her cup in the dog park's poop receptacle. She claims its the only receptacle along her path home. Evidence... gone.

Now, I don't wanna be the one to say she has an addiction. And, her brisk daily walk (for liquid candy bars) is a great exercise. I can't fault her for that! But, when you begin hiding coffee cups from the family, ahh...you might have a problem.

I am planning an intervention soon. A real coffee talk...for Sarah!

If you have an addiction, an "innocent addiction" that is...(I don't wanna get my substance abuse license out and have to counsel ya) please share...I would love to hear what secret addiction you have! Post below...

Monday, May 18, 2009

Rocket Scientist for Hire...

I used to pride myself on being a "tech geek." I could program my VCR to record Melrose Place and Friends, with ease in the 90's. I enjoyed reprogramming microwave oven clocks, too. I don't mind saying this is what I brought to the table. Its one of the reasons my husband married me.

Yet, much to his dismay, I have lost my edge...

Rewind to when Tony asked if I could, "Please reset all the thermostats in the house". That was a week ago. I know this because it has taken me that long to figure out that we have three of them. Yes, three A/C's for me to synchronize. I would have waited longer but the temperature touched a sizzlin' three digit number this week and I am melting in the house. Personal sauna. Las Vegas Style.

I did manage to select the correct temperature and time that the A/C would cycle. I spent a mere forty five minutes on this. A real rocket scientist moment. Upon hitting the "set" button I felt like I was ready to tackle any electronic device.

Until of course, I noticed there is a "day setting" as well. So, it goes without saying...that in our bedroom it is Monday, in the hallway to the kitchen it is Monday...and of course in the kids' hallway it is now... Thursday. A time warp is my only explanation for this error. I dare to reset the whole dang thing and start over. I think its okay for the kids to be three days ahead of us, or four days behind, whichever. I mean, we don't use the thermostat as a calendar. I don't walk up to the thermostat for the time and date. So, why does this bug me so?

Its the little things that get to me. Have you got something little that gets to you? Anything bugging you? Please share, I would feel a whole lot better and don't forget to join this blog while you're here!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Procrastination Strikes...Again!

Oddly enough, I procrastinated in getting a story written on time... again. Then, I was reminded of the many "imperative things" I must get done before sitting my ass on my chair and getting down to business. I came up with a list of necessary to do's:

1. Unload dishwasher
2. Make the beds, including dog's
3. Empty the trash cans throughout the house, seven to be exact.
4. Iron socks
5. Feed stray kittens
6. Clean oven with a toothbrush
7. Alphabetize my spice rack
8. Knit a sweater
9. Start a scrapbook
10. Re tile the bathroom shower

Hopefully, my procrastination will end and my story will begin. In the meantime, I'll have an awesome spice rack!

Tell me what you do to procrastinate, and how you get over the illness! Comment below and don't forget to join while you're here...

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Ten Things You Must Not Skimp on...Despite the Economy!

I wanted to share an epiphany I had late last night upon dragging the garbage out to the curb for the morning pick up. I realized my "money saving ways" are actually costing me! Little did I know the non-brand name garbage bags would cause me such grief....and a clean up. I only dragged them from: the kitchen, down the hallway through the laundry room to the garage and out the driveway. All the while leaking "something sticky" on the slate floors! Nice...now I have to mop that up. Makes me wish I had those ridiculous "mop slippers" I saw recently at Walgreen's. Anyhow, I decided to share a list of the ten things you really should not be skimping on...

1. Garbage bags, read above.

2. A good hair color. Try and imagine what could go wrong here.

3. Underwear. Or, any under garments. Why be uncomfortable? If you "can buy 'em at Costco" (in bulk, 6 for $10.00) don't do it. Your husband will thank you for this. I am saving your marriage here!

4. Corn Flakes. The kids "know the difference" and no one will eat them. Okay, maybe the dog if he's really hungry.

5. Tape. Have you ever bought "cheap tape" and then you can't pry it off the roll and its ever so frustrating, you end up using masking tape to wrap a kid's birthday present...

6. Wine. Enough said.

7. Sunscreen. I bought some "off brand" last year, only to have my husband apply it to his face and scream when it felt like sandpaper. He didn't appreciate the exfoliation that went with his application!

8. Shoes. Cheap shoes hurt. Cheap shoes look like cheap shoes. Sometimes, no shoes would be better than cheap shoes!

9. Sheets. I believe, if you were to do the cost per day, sheets cost very little in the end. So, splurge on the Sateen 800 count. My mother in law reminded me of the sheets I purchased for her guest bed in 1997. We laughed at how scratchy they were. She even brought her own, the next time she came to visit! No joke!!

10. Cosmetics. Girls, this is an area we can't go drug storin' on. A good foundation, a nice eyeliner...you know what I'm talkin' about.

I would love to hear what you "refuse to skimp" on...comment below!!
Happy Shopping!