Why My Exterminator is Gone and Other Thoughts...

Well, I completely embarrassed myself last week. Typically, I keep my private things...private. But, not last Friday morning, oh no...I just "let it all hang out" there....have you ever done that?

I let our exterminator in, he's the guy who has been spraying my house for "creepy crawly things" (such as spiders and scorpions) for nearly five years.Yes, we DO have scorpions...Las Vegas is a desert.

The exterminator sprays once a month, inside and out. Last Friday, the house was less than tidy, so I decided to walk about twelve paces in front of him and lead him around the rooms. We started in the kids rooms (picking up toys and clothes) and each of their bathrooms(towels on the floor), the laundry room, both TV rooms, the workout room, office, kitchen and main entry. We rounded through the kitchen and dining room. Ah, not much to pick up in the hallway. Now, to the bedroom.

I walked in and started picking up some clothes off the floor and a pair of shoes, a few more items of clothing and then...the HORROR!

From across the room, I notice that I...okay, "WE" left a "few personal items" on the nightstand by my side of the bed. Apparently, we had an evening of romance. This, after two very large chocolate martinis the night before. Now the fog has lifted. (Yes folks, after thirteen years of marital bliss...we still do the deed!)

I race over to the display of lotions, potions and try to clear them off. My hands are full of clothes and I nearly knock various Marital Aids all over the floor. Not trying to cause a bigger scene, and frozen as to what I should do next, I open the drawer...and sweep it all in the drawer. All this time, I am not looking at the exterminator...but I know he saw my "not so casual" sweep. And, he definitely heard the "Ker-plunk" of plastic bottles and stuff...well, let's just leave it at that.

I was beyond mortified and couldn't wait for him to finally leave. I mean, we don't really get any bugs and I am the "Official bug killer" of the household. Just me and a can of hairspray gets the job done. I never have Raid but I can always find a can of Super Hold to immobilize their little legs from fleeing.

So, I sent our exterminator out the door, "knowing full well" he saw my "nightstand of ill repute" before I had rounded the corner. The damage was already done.

Of course, I had to call the husband and tell him of my x-rated Lucy moment...and he did what every guy would do, he LAUGHED. He just laughed and laughed...so I hung up.

"Hey, thanks hon, that may cost you for a very long while!"

As for the exterminator, I decided we don't need the service after all. So, I stocked up on hairspray!

Call Me LEFTY!

So, here I am sitting at my desk at work. Diving into a two foot pile of papers, when I get the call...from the school nurse! It went down like this:

School Nurse: Hi, Mrs. Thurlow, this is Gladys at Nate Mack. How are you this morning?

Me: Well, I am fine. (Wondering if Max is sick, tummy ache, sore throat)

School Nurse: I have Max in my office. He fell off the monkey bars and his hand hurts. He is complaining that he can't move his fingers. Do you want to speak with him?

Me: AAHHHH Yeah...I want to speak to him, get him on the phone. Oh, Max buddy, what happened?

Muffled crying/sniffling on phone.

Max: I fell Mom. I didn't land on my feet. I can't feel my hand or fingers. I think I am fine though. (More sniffling and gasping for a breath.)

Me: I am on my way! Mommy's comin'.

So, I jump from chair, don't even turn off the computer or door for that matter. Wave to Tony , who is on a phone call. I give him "the call me sign"..and say, "Max had an accident." I race through all the lights, and squeal my tires into the school parking lot. Racing past the office monitor and into the nurse's office. Max was calm but he was wincing and in a lot of pain. I knew it was broken and not just a sprain. Didn't need a med. degree to know that his very swollen hand/wrist meant a trip to the hospital.

However, that could be a five hour wait, and unless your are bleeding from two limbs or holding your decapitated head in your hands...it will be awhile to see an ER doctor. So, I did what I always do...I call the husband. He sets me up to go straight to our good friend/neighbor who is a Chiropractor..complete with x ray machine and a quick diagnosis...broken arm. Thank you, Dr. Campbell for the speedy x-ray! Sorry Max was reeling in pain and I had to pick him up off the floor. He was in shock.

Off to an Urgent Care to get a splint. Splint on and oh crap...he has his first football game tonight. Or not. Hmmm, I guess we are sittin' on the bench for a month or so. In the $600.00 worth of gear, registration fees, helmet, ETC... I guess there's always NEXT year!

Here is LEFTY...he is lookin' good in his "Tylenol induced state" and "mostly interrupted sleep." He is home for the day...recuperating on candy bars, Motrin and homework. Yes, I am the mom who got the homework...and he will have something to do when he feels a complete recovery in an hour and begs to ride his bike. Or, jump on the trampoline.

So, here's to my son, LEFTY!