Living In A Lifetime Movie...

What was supposed to be a quiet, relaxing trip to the mountains... a mere getaway from motherly responsibilities and a chance to write a story for a magazine, turned into a little something out of a Lifetime movie.

My husband encouraged me to go away, even had a new set of tires put on the Jeep. He is always looking out for me.

The night before my departure, a friend called to tell me that the HWY 14 was closed due to a landslide. I thought she was kidding, but called the UDOT and learned that the roads re-opened just minutes earlier.

New tires. Duffel bag packed. Bananas, fresh bread, peanut butter, strawberry jelly and two Diet Cokes will be my meals. Laptop, Kindle and some magazines to inspire the writing.

I headed up the mountain and saw the debris on the road, yet it was clear to drive. Snow laden trees mixed with yellow aspens, probably the most beautiful drive I will ever see. I made it to the fork in the road with virgin snow. I was making new tracks with my new tires!

In four wheel drive.

Feeling a tingle of adventure-ness, I used four wheel drive to the cabin. Anyone who knows me, agrees that I have not a iota of adventure in my blood. Too bad, I really needed it right about now.

I got into the cabin and completed the necessary water turn on procedure outside and in. Clicked on the fuses in the wall and pressed the heater panel to On. Hmmm...no Wooosh noise. No heat.

No worries, I will make a fire. That is, if I could find the fire starters. After crumpling a magazine (my husband's snowmobile mag, not mine of course), I call my husband to ask where I would find the fire starters. I told him about the 45 degree weather in the house. He told me he broke the fire starters in smaller pieces and put them outside. They were out there...on the snowy porch. And they weren't pieces...they were crumbs! Cheerios would light a fire better. Not that I could light a fire... with the five non working lighters. Who saves lighters without butane? Apparently, we do.

I was beginning to think I was in a comedy of errors.

Yes, I managed a fire and got warmer. That's when the phone rang. You see my husband called every person he could think of to get someone to the cabin and fix the furnace. Frozen pipes are in our past*....not our future. He got a hold of a realtor/acquaintance who called me and told me to call a friend of hers. He was eighty, and didn't live far. I thanked her and she offered to have me over for spaghetti dinner. I declined. PB&J on fresh bread does not compare. I was in for the night.

Within an hour, (and not mountain time**) Al showed up to fix the furnace. He took the panel off and moved some wires around. Flipped a switch...we had heat! Al charged me $40.00. A small price to pay. He called me later that night to see if the heat was still working.

I sat in front of my laptop that night and couldn't write. Decided to wait 'til morning.

Woke up to the phone ringing. It was Al... again. I was little apprehensive of his calls by now. Kinda like that Lifetime Movie when the woman is all alone in her cabin, and no one can hear her screams. Yes, the creativity is all coming back in my head. Al called and asked me when I was planning on leaving...I told him I wasn't sure. I have seen every Lifetime movie and I know not to trust anyone! Al says,"Well, I was just Aunt Sue's Restaurant and the Sheriff said that the HWY 14 will be closed for two to four months." Yes, a second landslide hit and this one covered the road and broke a hole in it. The road is gone.

I thanked Al for the 411 and raced to my computer to see if UDOT had anything posted. Indeed, Al was correct. Of course, there are other roads that lead to home. The 89 to Zion. Or, Kanab to Hurricane.

So, sitting in my very warm cabin, eating chicken and rice soup and Lifetime movie on the TV....I write this blog. Not exactly the story for the magazine. I did write three pages.


* During a two-week period without electricity, our pipes froze, defrosted and burst. Thank goodness for insurance. And, for my husband who put the cabin back together again.
**Mountain time= "whenever I wake up and decide to mosey over to your cabin." Sometimes its 24 hours other times...its never! Often, it involves many calls and messages from one local to another that you need a repair. Al's arrival...under an hour is unheard of...and that made it a Lifetime movie.

Awaiting Good Housekeeping...

Metal filing cabinets. These two lovely (circa 1974) beige-hued, filing cabinets are the answer to every woman’s decorating dream. Often, I envision Good Housekeeping to knock on the door and I will float to the front entry, in a Mary Tyler Moore inspired pantsuit…because my cabinets are from the same era. My hair will be coiffed just so with Aqua-Net and a flip so tight it could hold more tension and anxiety than the day my gracious husband decorated with those delicious filing cabinets.

Mind you, I am not ungrateful. Really. I have a place to store papers, old electrical cords and taxes from 1999. I imagine many women are jealous of these “two towers of organization” at my fingertips. Ah, did I mention they adorn the living room and are immediately admired by all who visit at the front door?

Yes, the FRONT DOOR!

Visitors, friends and family have the pleasure of stepping into my Grand Entry and this is their first impression. Even the UPS delivery guy does a double take. He must think we have a penchant for papers and green hanging file folders. Most people comment, and ask us if we “just moved into the neighborhood”. This is when I bow my head in embarrassment and regretfully answer… “No, we have been here for seven years.”

However, I may be ready for something new. Something more delicate, peaceful and something that won’t give me paper cuts.

I allowed the cabinets to take ownership of this space for nearly a year. Before their appearance, the room was bare. The two settings are most unsettling.

My vision for a personal space, a corner to read and relax is merely a dream. As a mother of two, I imagine a little nook…or MOM CAVE. The room has potential, with a glass slider and the view of the backyard, it could be peaceful. A chair or two...a little side table to place a drink, even pool table. I don't really care. As long as its not metal filing cabinets.

Additionally, my husband and I work together and the mere visual of filing cabinets, constantly reminds me of work. I guess this “furniture intrusion” gives new meaning to taking your work home with you. My husband says he cannot move these monstrosities in his home office, as they do not match his cherry wood, desk set and since I have no real plans for the room, the cabinets continue to reside in this space. I will not receive the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval.

I could offer them on Craig’s List. Potential takers would walk no further than my front door to see them. In fact, they could peek in the window to catch a glimpse. Then again, who needs to inspect metal filing cabinets? I am giving this piece of furniture too much credit.

I would gladly donate them to any 70’s sitcom set, as well.

One thing is for certain, they must go and I must allow myself one room in the house without work related items, kids’ school papers or the dog bed. I am ready for the change and look forward to my future (the one that doesn’t involve filing cabinets) in a living space.

Happy Birthday Dear Mike...Happy Birthday to You!

Today's Blog is dedicated to a friendship of the ages and to celebrate the birthday of that friend. To great friends and what makes a friendship last so long...(Picture: Mike is on the left, with helmet... Tony on right #18)

Before there was "Dumb and Dumber," before Jackasses and Johnny Knoxville...there were two young lads..living in Grand Junction, Colorado.

Mike and Tony met in the fifth grade, circa 1979. As my husband recalls, Mike was clad in an "Elmer Fudd" jacket and slick cowboy boots on a snowy day. The thick flannel jacket was not well received nor were the boots once Mike hit the snow for the first time.

You see, Mike came from New Orleans, Louisiana. Show and Tell consisted of Mardi Gras beads and Doubloons. The beads were all the hit for the girls in class, but Tony remembers that the boys were not as impressed. But, when Mike came to school with a knife (allowed in schools of the Deep South only) he was an "okay kid" after all. He did get in some trouble for bringing the knife, but Mike brought his "Yes Ma'am" and "No Sir" and many colorful stories to the fifth grade class.

Mike, do you remember telling your classmates stories of the Bayou, swamp stories, eating craw fish and po'boys in your homemade lunch? Did you think Tony would trade you a Snack Pack chocolate pudding for that fishy sandwich?


Do you recall your expert marksman days...sharpshooting with a wrist rocket and dry dog food...at your younger brothers? And, when you weren't busy pelting younger siblings with dog food, you and Tony would tie them up in a laundry bag and hang them over the balcony.


All, I have to say is, "Where were your Mothers?"



To tie your own brothers to yourselves and then hit them with a stuffed animal...called the Death Battles.



Ah, you only lived in Grand Junction for three years. but, in those short years, you and Tony bonded. However sick the antics were...you were together and no one can make these stories up.



Remember Cancun and the plans to "windsurf to the nearest island." Your parents rented the windsurfers for the half hour. However, time flies when you are surfing to an island. Eight hours later- tired, sun burnt and hungry...you return, only to get in more trouble. When you got your Dad's new Walkman wet (falling into the pool) and dissembled it to "dry out the parts"...more trouble.



Did you really throw a grasshopper at a window only to break that window? How much did the grasshopper weigh?


Did you really cut your finger whittling a wooden gun, only to cut another finger in the door? Ouch!


Did you jump off a cliff and into a river (Lake City, CO) of freezing, cold water, soooo cold you and Tony had to drift like beached whales to safety, nearly missing a waterfall?


Did you ever drive a car, under aged, no license, in Mexico and drink Pina Coladas?



How 'bout when you and Tony were on a road trip (in the '77 Thunderbird) and you were tired of listening to The Scorpions and tossed the cassette out the window? With the sun visor...and some of the car's roof?



I met you years later, after hearing these stories and thought, Tony must be exaggerating. I was wrong.


1994- Woke up in Lake Powell to your voice, "Ah, Caprice, is Tony awake yet?" All while sitting on his Jet ski, complete with a hole where the nose "once" was. I think you duct taped it. You felt so badly.


And to think you called me "Moonshine" at my wedding.


But, your friendship has stood the test of time. You have known each other longer than your wives. You only lived in the same town for three years, but in those years, you bonded, stayed in touch, were Best Men to each other's weddings and can watch your sons grow up to be just like you. Scary huh?


Fast forward to now...and watching you feed a breakfast consisting of: peanut M&M's and a Sippy cup of Diet Coke to your son, Brody... only to wonder why he is bouncing off the walls for hours. Max and Brody have a lot to live up to.


I knew a Hallmark card could never cover all the memories. I hope you enjoy the Blog. Don't worry, I only have 14 followers and I think two of them are Tony!


To everyone who has a friend like this...cherish them. And, please wish Mike a Happy Birthday!


"Happy Birthday, Mike...to many, more great stories!"

Skin Flaps...Won't Get You Out of Cooking!

Yes...I am back in the Blogging World. I have had many "bloggable moments" over the past few months, but last night's Debauchery...(a word my husband used just last week and it made me laugh, so I am using it now) caused me to get on the blog. With my nine "working" fingers.

Nine fingers intact. One, is now more appropriately defined as "a skin flap."

Why, you ask?

Well, I decided to cook dinner last night and truth be told that in itself is dangerous. After a quick trip to "Fresh and Easy" (my favorite grocery store) and a decision to have Mexican Night, i.e...make your own tacos, with rice and beans...the cook is injured.

I could blame the people in the house who stuffed the trash in a pyramid-like structure. I could blame myself for trying to push the pyramid into the bag. But, I would probably be blaming myself twice.

So, when my left index finger "found" a metal, bean dip lid...I nearly jumped through the ceiling. Hence, the skin flap. (Side note here, "flap" is one of those gross out words for me. Other gross out words are: slacks, panties, pouch and onomatopoeia. Don't know why, but those words are like nails on a chalk board for me. Put "skin" and "flap" together and its a "double word" ick!) But, I digress.

So here I was... standing over the kitchen garbage can, finger turned white and then...RED! You all know that moment, when you watch the skin go white and think, "its coming, the blood is coming." So, I did the only thing I could think of...use the new, clean dishtowel to stop the bleeding. All the while, sad that the dishtowel has blood on it. I sat down and watched the blood form each time I opened the towel to peek inside. Blood spurted out of my finger to the beat of my heart.

Yuck.

Max called his Dad to give him a play by play of Mom's activity. Both of them, asked the same question, "You didn't bleed in the food did you?"

No sympathy from Maddie. She rips her hands from Bars everyday. She has callouses only a lumberjack could appreciate.

No sympathy from Max. But, he did turn on, "Wizards of Waverly Place" to take my mind off the pain.

No sympathy from husband. He heard that I was pushing the trash down and knows that was a dumb move to begin with. He also knows about the pyramid of trash. And, who creates the pyramid. Yep, the same person who shopped for the food, created the meal and wanted a clean kitchen.

Awww, thank you for the sympathy through this blog. I hear your concern. "No, I am fine, really. I stopped the bleeding and yes, the towel is the wash with bleach." "Oh, no you don't have to come visit, I will prevail." "I don't need anything. But thanks again for your concern. I loved the Get Well card too. So sweet of you. The flowers are brightening my day already. My finger feels much better."

And my pity party is over.

So, put your slacks on.... for tonite's dinner I made...RESERVATIONS!