Diamonds in my crotch...

Yes, you read it correctly, "Diamonds in my crotch". I was travelling on the 215 fwy, (that's in hot, hot Las Vegas) one afternoon, with my daughter, Maddie in the car. I think we were headed to gymnastics. We are always headed there (four times a week) but who's counting. Ok, I am counting...

So, I was driving down the road with the A/C full blast because it was so damn hot that day, you could fry an egg (and bacon) on the hood of the car. I haven't tried it, but if we're ever late for school, that would be a quick way to get breakfast to the kids. "Hey kids! Grab your 'Hood Breakfast and get to class."

Anyhow, I was driving with the A/C, kid in car and all I could hear was..."blah, blah, blah...I want diamonds for my crotch." Now, we live in Vegas and I know there are alot of skanky billboards on the road. I can't blindfold the kids' eyes during car rides. So, I am thinking, did she see a scantily clad gal adorned in diamonds? Is that what is meant by: "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas"?

Then, she says: "Mom we can get matching ones and be twins."

Okay, I had to stop this train wreck of a conversation and fast. So, I say, "Maddie, what did you just say... we should get matching diamonds for our... crotch?" She laughs, probably because she thinks her mom is an idiot at this point. (And, she might be right this time.)

"No mom, I said we should get matching diamonds for our Crocs!"

True story... I just remembered it because she is having "the talk" at school today, with the ever educational, school nurse. I dedicate this blog to all the embarrassed, 5th graders today. If you have a memory of "the talk" or if your wear diamonds on your...never mind, I don't wanna know about it...if you have a comment, please share it!