Hey Lunchbox!

Did your lunchbox define you? Did you carry a metal one? Or, a vinyl one? Were you more of a TV show, cartoon, Football team or character? I look back at my annual lunch box purchases with fond memories. My mom would patiently take me to each discount store (Woolworth's, K-mart, the food store) to find JUST the right lunchbox. I remember every lunchbox I carried. Mom was a saint and dealt with my (obsessive) need for a different lunchbox every year. One year, I couldn't decide and was the proud owner of TWO! That was a good year...

1st grade- Snoopy

2nd grade- Barbie (in Vinyl) and Super friends
3rd grade- Betsy Clark

4th grade- Holly Hobbie
5th grade- Charlie's Angels

6th grade- brown paper sack

I remember how we would judge kids on their lunchbox. If they had a cool character like Six Million Dollar Man or Evel Knievel...that was cool. But, if a kid had some TV show like, say The Walton's...this really defined the kid. Set him up for a year of ridicule at the lunch table. That Walton's carrying kid also had a box of raisins and an olive sandwich. Poor kid.

I always secretly wanted a Little House on the Prairie lunchbox. I liked Nellie Olsen and all.

Cool boys had their favorite NFL team, The Hulk or Star Wars. Cool girls had Holly Hobbie and TV shows.

But, the thermos always did a lot of damage. It would roll around and flatten the fluffy, Wonder bread p.b.& j. Sometimes, it would "smash" a Ho-Ho or a Hostess cupcake. I hated that. No matter how my mom would pack it, something it would always get steamrolled in the metal box.

What lunchbox did you have a kid? Please comment...!!

Lost an Angel on Earth, Gained an Angel in Heaven...

Today, we lost and Angel on Earth...but Heaven has gained one. As you may know, Farrah has passed away. I wanted to share my memories of Farrah with you. I was a big fan of Charlie's Angels and have memories of the lunchbox (my fifth grade weapon, made of metal), the action dolls (I had all three), and of course, the POSTER. My dad bought the poster (for me) and hung it in my room. As a young girl, I would stare at it and wish for such a beautiful smile. Her teeth were amazing. Most people were "looking elsewhere", but for me...it was the teeth!

Recently, I was on a journey to "enhance my body"-- you can read more in my previous blog..."Two Boobs or Not Two Boobs" (to be "filled in"). I had an epiphany. I realized that my first step to physical improvement began with my teeth. At age 38, I was the proud recipient of braces. Twelve months later, straight teeth. All thanks to my husband who wanted me to be happy with my smile, and to "Dr. Frank" who made me pretty.

I know it all started with that poster and a smile that would shine down on me. Sitting on my bed, I would look up and think..."How did she get those teeth SO white?" Again, I did not purchase the poster. This was the handiwork of my father who hung it on my closet door. I really wanted the poster that had all three Angels! He bought this one. Hmmm....wonder why.

Anyhow, I was writing about a nice set of new boobs and this poster came back to me. I had one of those deja vu moments about the poster, the teeth and now the boobages. I was re-telling this childhood story to my husband, who sadly puts up with all my walks down memory lane. I am an only child...he has to suffer!

So, I added this memory to my "soon to be best seller of a book". Then, I changed my mind on the boobs, altogether. I do know that Farrah was a big part of my childhood though. So, was the poster....

An icon of hair, bathing suits and THOSE teeth...may she rest in peace and her family have many happy memories of her. She will be missed.

*If you have memories of the 70's, watched Charlie's Angels or if you wore Farrah hair, please comment!

Driving Part Deux...otherwise known as: "Ma'am Do You Know Why I Pulled You Over?"

Okay, I admit it. I may suck at driving a little. A retraction of my previous blog regarding my driving skills and that of my husband, Tony, is also in order. He was rather peeved at my comments about Monster Trucks and the whole "A package" comment. I do call his truck that, in private and we laugh together, but it appears it is "not so funny"--- when its on the web for all to read. I did remind him that "maybe only seven people read my blog" and I don't have a "following" past his sister and a friend or two...this was not good enough!

So it goes...I drove (again) us home from yet another road trip. Tony had worked all week in Arizona, seeing clients while the kids and I basked in the Phoenix sun at the JW Marriott/ Desert Ridge. Beautiful pools and a lazy river for the kids. I am spoiled rotten!

Tony got as far as Wickenberg, (about an hour out of town) and deserved a break from driving. I jumped in the driver's seat, adjusted myself (suicidally close) to the steering wheel, adjusted my mirrors and made my way to the two-lane highway. Watching for the speed limit sign (55), I drove cautiously down the road. My husband not so kindly pointed out that people can be stopped for driving too slow. I laughed and reminded him "that I had just seen the 55 speed limit sign" to which we laughed at "driving too slow." It was at this point, I noticed a highway patrol car behind me.

I had nothing to fear, after all... I was going the speed limit. Exactly. I saw the sign and know that AZ is famous for catching speeders with all their fancy, photo surveillance cameras atop the police vehicles. I was not gonna fall for that trap.

Being followed by a highway patrol does unnerve me, though. Even as "Dudley Do Right" as I am...I get panicky and nervous. I tried to keep relaxed and asked the kiddos if they had their seat belts on correctly. They wear the shoulder part behind them and I don't want an improper seat belt ticket. Not gonna fall for that trap either!

Now, I was being followed for about three miles and was really hoping the cop would race past me, so I could just calm down. And then...the lights flashed!

Yes...I got pulled over.

As I pulled over to the side of the road, I asked Tony, "What the hell did I do?" He quietly got the registration out of the glove box and said, "Honey don't talk too much...let him do the talking, okay?" I agreed. But, anyone who knows me...knows this is an impossibility. I am a loud mouth. I am Italian. I am a loud mouth Italian! May my ancestors be proud. I am not like the Housewives of New Jersey...but wait, I was born in New Jersey. Crap!

So, we rolled down the window on the passenger side. This is when my mouth really needed some duct tape. Officer Wright, (I couldn't even make this name up, true story) says to me, "Good afternoon, how are you both, today?" And, the ever popular..."License and registration please" followed. To which, I was ready to tell him a few explicit words, despite my kids in the backseat.

But, I held my tongue for a moment and cheerfully said, "Okay."

Now, I should have refrained...I should have listened to my husband's wise words and not said another word. But, I didn't do that. Instead, I said...."Can you tell me just WHY you pulled me over?" And, yes I was a little smug while asking.

After all, I knew the speed limit.

Officer Wright responded, "Ah, yes ma'am I would be happy to tell you why I stopped you... you see the speed limit is 65, and you were driving 10 below the speed limit, often times guilty people and criminals drive slowly." Ah, did he just call me a criminal? Oh he didn't!

I did the right thing and apologized for driving the posted speed limit prior to the following 65 sign...hmmm, where was that sign, anyhow? He laughed and never even looked at my driver's license or registration*. That easy. I was off the hook.

*Little digression here: I don't mind showing my licence though. It's a fabulous picture, good hair day, I have lost weight since the photo shoot and they got me in the right light there at the DMV.

Anyhow, my husband gave a little chuckle and I think I even saw Tony wink at the officer...as if they had a little joke between the two of them. I was not amused. I was irritated that this officer was sympathizing with my husband, perhaps an underlying: "I'm sorry you're stuck with her kind of thing"!

And yes, I drove the rest of the trip with the damn cruise control on 65,... okay 70. I was quiet for the remainder of the ride home. Tony was right. I do drive too slow!

Superior Driving Skills Revealed...

I am an excellent driver. Don't be fooled by my husband who states otherwise. Take Sunday afternoon for example. Tony was thrashed from both the long weekend of backbreaking landscaping at our cabin and his dirt bike ride with Max. So, I offered to drive us home. To which I received silence...my husband's way of sayin'- "No thanks hon, I'll drive myself."

He hates my driving. Can't understand why...I'm a very competent driver, even while driving his rig. Oh, let me describe his rig for ya...

A Ford F-350 Super Duty with a lift kit and big ass tires. Big enough that a little motorized stair pops down when you open the truck door. I refer to this Testosterone Monster Truck as the "A-package" (for all the A-holes that drive these trucks). But, I digress....

Tony was just tired enough to let me drive us home from Utah. A couple hours from home. Or, as he would put it..."if you drive 85 in the left lane, keeping the RPM's under 200 and watching the miles per gallon as to not waste the diesel gas...we will be home in 72 minutes"...blah, blah, blah. Did I mention "cruise control"?

Cruise control is Tony's favorite feature of any vehicle. The fact that I refuse to use it...makes him downright frustrated. Its just that I like to know that "I am still driving" and any time I have used it, I just ended up putting my foot on the brake which causes the "cruise to end" and then you have to reset the dang thing...all while driving. Just drive I say! Does Jeff Gordon use this? NO... then, why should I?

Tony's comments were the following: "Its Sunday, you can't drive in the right lane"..."Oh, an '84 Ford Fiesta just passed us"... "Do you always drive so close to the steering wheel?" To which, in my mind I answered him..."Why can't I drive in the right lane"... "I am going the speed limit, I just wanted that Ford Fiesta to pass me and yes, I have to be this close to the steering wheel...that way I can see OVER the big ass dashboard".

Men just drive different, that's all. He can drive 85, switch lanes while eating a Big Mac and read the thirteen different gauges like: odometer, speedometer, RPM...in fact the instruments that came standard were not enough for Tony. He bought a set of three more that hang on the left side of the window panel. He is, afterall a numbers guy, but I think its an obsession to be watching all those numbers and "calculate" like a scene from "Rainman"...."eight fish sticks...I like eight fish sticks when I watch Wheel of Fortune"...

As for the ride home, I got us home safe and sound...I even passed that Ford Fiesta, (as they were fixing the flat tire)!

If you have similar issues or if you are a guy, I wanna hear from you...I need some insight on male driving...please comment below!

You Know You're Gettin' Older When...

I decided a top ten list would best explain how I am feeling today. Quite frankly, I feel ancient this week...could have been the family trip to Disneyland that started it all. Panicking on a roller coaster isn't exactly "a young at heart" attitude. So, it got me to thinking how many things I notice about getting old, here goes:

1. Watching my grey hairs pop up every six weeks. Tony calls me "Jay Leno." I call it my "raccoon,"... then, I call Judy for my next coloring appointment "to make 'em go away"!
2. Reading the menu further and further away from my body. I find 12-16 inches a perfect distance to read these days. If Tony holds it across the table, I can read it! And, yes I do have reading glasses, problem is, I forget them.
3. When spelling out my name to people, I still tend to say: "Caprice, like the car" to which now people don't have a clue what a "Caprice Classic" is anymore. I have to find a new reference! It worked for most of my life...hmmm.
4. My music. I listen to Sirius radio and my stations are: 70's, 80's, 90's, two country stations, Redneck comedy, the coffee house,... need I go on? You are either: assured a great stroll down memory lane with me or as my kids put it, "Mom can we just drive in silence, please?" Maddie hates the Decade Stations. Max hates the Coffee House station. I hate the Jonas Brothers. Guess we're even.
5. Achy bones when I wake up. I mean come on...I just got 9 or so hours of sleep, we have a great mattress, so why am I so achy waking up? Now, I have to take a handful of vitamins to keep the 'ol bones from creakin'.
6. The NEED for coffee every morning. It's a "miracle drug" really. This narcotic helps me get things moving along, in more ways than one. And YOU know what I mean!
7. Forgetfulness. This is actually my husband's issue, not mine. But it affects me too. I am now the "reminder" of: missing keys, wallets in pockets and sunglasses on the forehead. I now recite the mental list of things he could be missing... cell phone--- "check", watch--- "check" you get the picture.
8. Hiring younger and younger interns for the office and then, not being able to relate. I talk about my college years (playing Quarters/mix tapes), television shows ( Little House on the Prairie to Moonlighting) and my first car ( '84 Mustang). My colleagues think I'm a relic dug up from the ashes.
9. Comfortable shoes. I am "on the lookout" for a six inch, comfortable (slutty) heel that doesn't come from Natrulizer or Life Stride.
10. Technology. I am so tired of Texting. Why can't people just call me? I hate having to text back. I know, embrace technology....blah, blah, blah....how 'bout embrace verbal communication, something without a colon and a parenthesis as a "smile." :)

I feel much better getting these out in the open. Do you have anything that makes you feel older? Comment below!!

Disneyland Still Rocks...

Well, I pulled the end of the year surprise on the kiddos...a trip to Disneyland! Tony and I picked them up from school (1/2 day) last Thursday and had their bags packed for a little trip. For two weeks, they thought we were headed up to our summer cabin in Utah. They didn't know we bought a 3 day hopper vacation to Disneyland. So, it was past the California Inspection booth...ahh..."any plants, fruits in the vehicle," past the Los Angeles signs and 15 to the 60 to the 57 fwy. In fact, it wasn't until I stopped the car in front of a hotel bearing a big Disneyland sign with Mickey Mouse in his Wizard hat...that the kids still didn't know where we were.

I must disclose their report cards here, because you may be thinking they are "stupid is as stupid does". Maddie got the Straight A Honor Roll, the Principal award and Max passed his classes too. Sadly, Maddie had her head in a book, How To Steal A Dog by Barbara O'Connor (yes, I'm now reading it, its on my desk here) and Max was drawn into his Nintendo DS. Thank Goodness for such good passengers. Too bad they DIDN'T LOOK OUT THE WINDOW!!

On to Disneyland...and this new place, California Adventure. I grew up in Irvine and you'd think I'd know more about Cali, So Cal or whatever people call it these days. I recall when you'd buy the tickets for $13.00 and then tear them out of the little booklet. A tickets to E tickets. I remember when Space Mtn. was an E ticket and the Main Street Horse ride was an A ticket. We never took the horse ride. It was reserved for old people. And, you'd always go home with the A tickets left for the next trip to "D-land". I also remember that "America Sings...America the Beautiful" ride, sponsored by Monsanto...they made you stand in a row and watch a movie of America, then my friends and I would "crank call" people on the free phone booths outside the theater. Oh, the good old days!!

So what happened over the years to cause me to hate the rides? I think its the dozen or so years that I stopped riding roller coasters, too busy with sippy cups and Pull Ups to remember "what fun" is all about. I watch too much CSI and "the roller coaster that falls off the track" episodes.

I used to be the one to ride the same coaster over and over. Just get right back in line. Over and Over. Now, I freak out and the only way to control my anxiety is with closed eyes and a prayer. I hate to admit that I closed my eyes on California Screamin. But, when we got off the ride and looked at the pictures posted for purchase, my husband just laughed and said "How do you keep 'em closed the whole time?"

The same picture popped up at every ride. Tony, Maddie and Max; eyes wide open, smiling and arms waving in the air....ohh, the fun they were having. Caprice... eyes tightly closed, hands gripping the bar, face smashed and distorted. A small tear forming in her eye. Not exactly the picture of the Happiest Place on Earth for me! My husband kept teasing that he would buy the picture because it cracked him up so. Just what he needs on the credenza of his office. He did buy the picture at Splash Mountain. Just after I took the big gush of water for our family. Front row!

Anyhow, Disneyland still rocks. (The wine and beer carts at California Adventure are a great addition for a gal who doesn't have a prescription for Xanax.) The kids have a memory of their last day of school in 2009. Tony has a new picture on his desk at work and I have memories of how it used to be...

If you have Disneyland memories, (old or new)or anything to share please comment!
PS- I am not posting the picture of me at Splash Mtn...Tony won't give it back to me!