I am an excellent driver. Don't be fooled by my husband who states otherwise. Take Sunday afternoon for example. Tony was thrashed from both the long weekend of backbreaking landscaping at our cabin and his dirt bike ride with Max. So, I offered to drive us home. To which I received silence...my husband's way of sayin'- "No thanks hon, I'll drive myself."
He hates my driving. Can't understand why...I'm a very competent driver, even while driving his rig. Oh, let me describe his rig for ya...
A Ford F-350 Super Duty with a lift kit and big ass tires. Big enough that a little motorized stair pops down when you open the truck door. I refer to this Testosterone Monster Truck as the "A-package" (for all the A-holes that drive these trucks). But, I digress....
Tony was just tired enough to let me drive us home from Utah. A couple hours from home. Or, as he would put it..."if you drive 85 in the left lane, keeping the RPM's under 200 and watching the miles per gallon as to not waste the diesel gas...we will be home in 72 minutes"...blah, blah, blah. Did I mention "cruise control"?
Cruise control is Tony's favorite feature of any vehicle. The fact that I refuse to use it...makes him downright frustrated. Its just that I like to know that "I am still driving" and any time I have used it, I just ended up putting my foot on the brake which causes the "cruise to end" and then you have to reset the dang thing...all while driving. Just drive I say! Does Jeff Gordon use this? NO... then, why should I?
Tony's comments were the following: "Its Sunday, you can't drive in the right lane"..."Oh, an '84 Ford Fiesta just passed us"... "Do you always drive so close to the steering wheel?" To which, in my mind I answered him..."Why can't I drive in the right lane"... "I am going the speed limit, I just wanted that Ford Fiesta to pass me and yes, I have to be this close to the steering wheel...that way I can see OVER the big ass dashboard".
Men just drive different, that's all. He can drive 85, switch lanes while eating a Big Mac and read the thirteen different gauges like: odometer, speedometer, RPM...in fact the instruments that came standard were not enough for Tony. He bought a set of three more that hang on the left side of the window panel. He is, afterall a numbers guy, but I think its an obsession to be watching all those numbers and "calculate" like a scene from "Rainman"...."eight fish sticks...I like eight fish sticks when I watch Wheel of Fortune"...
As for the ride home, I got us home safe and sound...I even passed that Ford Fiesta, (as they were fixing the flat tire)!
If you have similar issues or if you are a guy, I wanna hear from you...I need some insight on male driving...please comment below!
2 comments:
Great post! Men are so funny about their driving; I think it threatens their masculinity to have us sit anywhere but in the passenger seat. But that's fine with me--my driving skills are... not so good. People who've never worn a seatbelt before start reaching for it with zeal.
Ohhh I got in trouble for this blog. Tony didn't like it at all....I struck a nerve!
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